- diana

“When my heart was grieved
And my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;
You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
And afterward you will take me into your glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
And my portion forever.”

[psalm73:21-26]

a day like like this one.

When I first got to know about God and all the things He did, it was not difficult to believe, because I had not known unbelief and I had not known skepticism. But I grew older, and so did my understanding of the world and of people. Science introduced me to doubt, and familiarized me with it. People helped me to question. Is God real? Is heaven real? If the God you talk about is real, then why; why is there trembling, and fear, and torment of the mind and the body? Why do I see things fall apart? Why do I see you and me crying because of anguish of the heart?

Of course, I learned. Slowly, with many questions, I learned: God allows pain because a lot of people will only ever run to Him when there is pain. God knows that it is only through His son that we’ll ever get to heaven, so yes He allows pain so that we finally turn to Him for help. I also learned that God teaches us through pain and hardship. Things like patience, sacrifice, obedience, a listening heart, perseverance in prayer and love. Yes, real love, for God, for people and for people who don’t deserve. My God doesn’t like it, but my God allows pain into our lives to get our attention, because he knows all too well that He needs to get our attention so that we may live.

My life continues in seasons. There is a season of learning, and a season of enjoying what I have learned. And then a season of seeking Him, a season of hardship, a season of not understanding what is happening to me, a season of anger and distrust, and then a season of rescue, and a season of humility and rest and peace. Oh I’ve been through them, and quite a lot. As you have as well, I’m sure. And I am glad that all throughout, God was there. He was the father, the friend, the lover, the one who saw me for who I was, and understood me when no one else could or didn’t want to.

He has said that He is my strength when I am weak.

And now as I go through another season, I must learn to thrust Him with what is precious. My future, my heart, my desire for love and peace, and my pride.

-diana


"Is this the finger or just another fist
Is this the kingdom or just a hit and miss
I miss direction most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom
Is this what you call pain
Is this what they call discontented fame
It'll be a day like this one when the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in"
- Switchfoot

random much....

[AWWWWWWWWWWWWW]

and people say that I always have super long posts!!! See this post is only like what 5 lines long hahahahahahhaha! Wait till you see my next post ;) its going to be 3 PAGES long MUAHAHAHAHHA :D

a super long VERSES post!

EVEREONE SAYS MY POST SOOOOO LONG!!!! So I am going to make it EVEN longer muhahahahahhahahaha

Note: it's VERSES ah not VERSUS!!! Hahahahahahah feeling a bit high at the moment! Hahahaha well as it is STILL exam week so i decided to like post up a *ahem* *ahem* "FEW" of the many many many MANY verses that we have in the Bible! It is just to encourage people :D so when viewing the post do do do do do do read it ALOUD!!! Because

Romans 10:17(New Living Translation)
So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.

(yes, even if you are in the Library) Read it just loud enough for you to hear it, well if you wanna read it until your NEIGHBOUR can hear it, be my guest, just don't come running to me when the police turns up at your house hahahahhaah so here it is!!!

It's mainly about studying ah (well not really lah but can apply also! [cause exam week bah]:

James 1:5-8 (The Message)
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

Philippians 4:13 (New King James Version)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Psalm 54:4 (New International Version)
Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.

Isaiah 46:4 (New King James Version)
Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you.

Zechariah 4:6 (New International Version)
So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

Matthew 7:7 (New International Version)
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

Isaiah 40:28-31 (The Message)
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying,"God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"?Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles,They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New King James Version)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 15:32 (King James Version)
He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

Just had to put at least one [King James] version hahahahahah so cool man, their english, or should i say "cooleth thy english of King James" HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH, again i'm like quite high!!!

Most importantly don't just read the verse and do nothing about it, yeah God gives us ALOT of promises all over the bible but always remember that before God can do his part in our lives we first have to do OUR part! Meaning we gotta STUDY, we can't just hope that by reading all these verses (even if you read the entire bible!) we'll get an A for our exams that is just silly >:)
as......

James 2:26 (King James Version)
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

dedicated to the ant

:D ok I am OH SO HAPPY that exams almost over. It ends next week Wednesday (with chem) ! OH MY gosh la cannot wait to just get it over with, and sleep! And watch movies, and sleep. and do more quiet times :) haven’t been doing so much of that lately :( and exercise!

I feel so nerdy writing this (and can almost hear Bernard chanting away “nerd. nerd. nerd x100.” : I’m going to get done with chem Applications revision by the time it’s time for bed. And tomoro is all just past year papers. So I can rest a bit tomoro  and then it’s the CRAZY weekend of bio studying.

And as I write this there’s an ant scurrying across the screen squishyou squish you!

Ok now it’s gone :)

Haha I duno what to write. Have to get back to revisions.

I know this post doesn’t match up to bernard’s. but EEE it’s not fair; he’s so long winded. (lol) and he’s good at it (lol)

OK BERNARD don’t get angry. I read your post before this and the first sentence got the word PISSED in red. Lol.

Haha so cin cai my post.

Aaaaaahahaha . I just opened blogger (im using microsoft) and I see we have 14 posts. To think that I contributed 1/8 of those posts :)

a feel good wednesday!

NOW I'M REALLY REALLY PISSED!!!!!!! This is like my THIRD time rewriting this blog and all because of a STUPID, IDIOTIC, ANNOYING VIRUS, that is being sent around MSN!!! Really man :@, you might say that i shoould change my title but i won't, cause from this morning till about 9pm ish today everything was going GREAT! So i'm only gonna be pissed for one hour, then i'll go back to my feel good day! I'm not going to let some measly HOUR of VIRUS ruin my day!

So back to my topic!

So today i woke up at like 7am just to get ready for my Biology Paper 1, only to find out that my paper was going to be at 2pm!!! You can just imagined how i looked man, when i found out that i've woken up at least 6 hours earlier, i was like -_____-! or like -______-'l seriously man i was like so *blehz* so i decided that i would actually go.....................................BACK TO SLEEP!!!

*hai~ my beautiful beautiful bed, as soft as a cloud, with a blanket that'll just warm you up like a cup of hot chocolate on a winter's evening, with faithful pillows and a bolster that will never ever kick you back or complain even if you toss them around, indeed it was so heavenly *hai~

So islept for like 3hours well more like 4hours lah, cause i kept on dawdling whether to "wake up now, or 15 minutes later" and the latter option always won :) hahahahahah so when i woken up i started to do the bio past year papers AGAIN (cause i've already done some the previous night) !!! So pro man me, for the first time ever i did like SEVEN papers, on my own free will! Such a GREAt achievement man!

Then i went off to school and took my exam and it was GoooooooooooooooooooD~ so since like i finished early and had like 15 minutes to spare, as i always do when it comes to MCQ, i drew on the question paper (not the answer sheet) wakakakakaka

Then since i didn't have an exam till like one week later i suddenly wanted to COOK!!! And Cook I DID!!! I cooked like 3 different dishes, an appetizer, a main dish and a dessert, and it was good~

It took me like 3 whole hours to cook everything man! But it was totally worth it!

The appetizer:

• A Caesar Salad! And it was really good, we all finished like 7/8 of it, and i'm not just saying that cause i cooked it, but seriously, it was good. But my maid didn't like it lah, but hey, she's a PURE philipino man! so when you say salad, it goes to like Jolibee salad, greens with either mayo or thousand island sauce (she agreed to this statement hahah) [and von notice i said PURE so you don't actually count heheheheh]

The main dish:

• Lamb with rösti (Swiss type of fried potato cake made of thinly sliced or grated potatoes and seasonings) and mushroom white sauce! didn't put any seasoning with the rösti though just a little bit of egg, and tghe mushroom white sauce was DELICIOUS!! We like totally polished it off ;D so proud, so proud.

The dessert:

• the traditional bread pudding thingi, not really sure what it is called but i'm too lazy to go all the way down to my kitchen just to check what it's called, so for now it'll be called the bread pudding thingi. It's the one that they usually serve in malay houses, especially hari raya, the one got bread and then got pudding one, usually taste like custard, but it's not, the very sweet one bah and i "loves it" (nicole ritchie style hahahaha)

So i had a wonderful dinner, then came up went online and got HIT by the SUPER annoying virus! Then had like my one hour of being pissed, then chatted with Krys and Bev and Des, hahahahah so funny man!

Des was telling me how much he misses all of us in Brunei, and telling me the weird taste of Bev's rice hahahaha

Krys was saying how her favourite food is Tandoori Chicken (when we all know is Big Mac) and how she's going to celebrate Deepavali in a SARI!!! Hahahahahahah LOL, and also how one of my new dishes would be called cocobanana (after ur hotness [meaning krystle] )

AND BEV!!! OH DEAR GOSH BEV!!! I think she's been going to WAY TOO many Clubs man, first she forgot to turn off her web cam, then she STRIPS, two clothes down, a jacket and a sweater, THEN she shows me a PAD CASING!!!! SOOOOOOO TERUK MAn!!!! Hhahahahahaha she says she's like wearing 4 sets of clothes hahahahah.

So yes, thats about it and yes I DO MISS YOU GUYS!!!

Des miss driving around with you!! (heheheheh especially scaring you by driving over the humps without brakes muahahahahah)

Krys totally miss bitching with you hahahahah and also i'll always remember the day you asked Haris to open "something" and blow into it *ahem* *ahem* and then throw it into the dust bin only yo let Danny see the whole thing!! HAHHAHAHAHA yes i miss you A LOT!!

And Bev seriously man, tone down the clubbing a bit hahahahahah, totally miss you laods!! Just hanging out, and putting on weigth together, especially eating NON-STOP, for an EINTIRE DAY!!! This girl can EAt!!!!

Hahahahahah peace out homies (heheheheheh wannabe right~)

[the bread pudding thingi]

[Caesar sald, rösti, Lamb and the mushroom white sauce]

oh

oh. but for those of you who 's asking why there are christians who 's devoted to God but don do well in their exams or whatever work or projects it may be: yes, God's promises stands and His favor is upon them in all these, but it doesnt mean we should be lazy. We have to do our part

info101

really worried

im quite worried about my physics paper coming up. i ws really hesitant to type that cos i always have tis thinking that christians should never be worried about exams and school work cos they have God's favour and promises and all that, and so can get A's in anything and everything without a sweat. .. i know that sounds silly after you read it. 

i havent gotten 5 topics studied (not since the mocks which was many weeks back). and ive forgotten quite a lot . and i really don like these topics. yes i know; a lot of negatives. :P

anyways, im gona type down my planned studying schedule for the next 3days (paper's on thursday):
MONDAY: get done the 5 topics, RE-READ thru EVERYTHING.
TUESDAY: pyp!!!!!!!!!!!
WEDNESDAY: pyp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah. a nerdy post

2/11/07........Loving God

Hahahahahah I know this post was supposed to be posted up like yesterday, as i said it would be, but i got tired, VERY tired so i decided to SLEEP!!! Then when i woke up, i was busy the whole saturday so i couldn't like post it up! So here it is on a Sunday afternoon!

So anyways, two days ago, for those who are familiar with it, of what happens every FRIDAY! Hahahahahha ACTS 29!!!! So we learned the final instalment of the "Loving God Loving People" series on that day, and we covered learning God with all our Strength and Mind.

It was so COOL!!! It was our first ever meeting at AC2 and it was really smooth~ Jeremy preached with such a powerful annointing again, with Ps. Ling leading an incredible praise and worship. It was indeed an awesome service.

Learned something new, well not new lah, but didn't notice it until Jeremy pointed it out. Indeed the "little foxes" that is the little details are very important! In Deuteronomy 6:5 it says ".........your STRENGTH" and in Matthew 22:37 it says "..............your MIND" so did Jesus make a mistake in quoting Deuteronomy? OF COURSE NOT!!!

Whenever you put your mind into something, like TRULY put your mind into something, you'll put your ENTIRE strength into fufilling it, and Jesus understood this concept, SO COOL right! So everything boils down to a DECISION!

So with this Jeremy gave us three ways of how to love God with all our Mind and Strength:

• to be faithful in where you are placed and in what you're called to do! Cause whenever you are faitnful in the little things that God has given you to do, He'll then give you BIGGER things! Like first being a good student, a good son/daugther, spending you money wisely and well you get the drift.
• to be determined to be planted and not potted! cause when you are planted your roots are tapped deep into the ground! Psamls 1:3 " He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers" the Bible didn't say potted it says PLANTED!!! Don't be easily swayed and moved, presevere and be steadfast in whatever God has asked you to do.
• And lastly always ALWAYS honour God FIRST with your time and your money. Never waste your time and your money (especially when you start working) because both your time and your money represents your life and when you waste these, you're indirectly wasting your life away. Not saying you shouldn't watch TV, or buy like new mobile phones and everything, but you know when you're wasting time and money when you don't benefit from the actions.

This is just like a very very very short summary of the actual message, just the surface of a GREAT message! And remeber Jeremiah 29:11

["........For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"]

1/11/07........new friends!

So yes, on a thursday, like two days ago if i'm not mistaken (took me like 5 minutes to figure this out) hahahahah i got to go on the DOULOS ship man!!! And it was AMAZING!!! Ps.Ling, Ting, Sam and I got invited to go onto the ship under VIP pass man, and have a tour of the ship and everything at 5pm!!! So we wanted to buy some books first so we left early and reached Muara port at around 4pm ish (thank God Ling asked us to leave earlier, i got lost TWICE, so embarassing :$) hahahahah

Anyways, so once we reached we didn't really know where to go and everything so we just decided to walk. Although there were shuttle buses to and fro the ship, as we didn't know where to board and everything we WALKED!!!

So semangat man! So from like 4pm till about 4.45pm we shopped for books, hahahah Ling bought a bunch of books man (the most), followed by Sam (as he found out they received credit cards), then Ting then ME! I got like THREE new cook books heheheheh so happy man! It was SOOO cheap and in VERY good condition! The one thing that really scared me were the STAIRS leadind from the dock to the ship man! When you like reach the middle as there is no support and everything, you can actually feel the stairs, METAL STAIRS, bouncing up and down man! And Sam didn't make it any easier, as he was purposely MOVING the stairs!

So anyways being typical chinese people, we didn't wanna carry our books and everything around with us when we have a toured on the ship right, so we decided to put everything back into the car, so we WALKED again (MORE STAIRS), seriously man, it was like TORTURE!!! And we had to like power walk from the car back to the ship as we were running late already (like 4 minutes lah, but PUNCTUALITY is IMPORTANT!!) and crazy man, once we reached the ship and everything, we were all sweating man! Not sweating like pigs lah, but more of "glowing" hahahahahah

So out host came and then we were brought to meet other crew-members on the doulos and found out some interesting facts about the ship and also the crew members:

• Doulos is greek for SERVANT!
• there are over 50 nationalities in the ship
• about 350 crewmates
• the ship is 93 years old
• the ship is being spruced up DAILY
• one of the crew members told us that, when she was young and still in her mother's womb, she kicked so violently that she broke 2 of her mother's ribs (just had to put this in cause it's totally unheard of man)

So anyways, we then broke up into smaller groups and Sam and I got stucked together but we got to meet two COOL guys on the ship, Mo and Chris! They were so cool man! Chris is a welder on the ship from the UK and Mo is one of the many deck inspector from Germany and sometimes get to STEER the ship!! SOOOOOO COOL RIGHT!!!

We then had dinner on board and it was the BEST!!!! We had like carbonara and cauliflower! And it was really good man! We also had this strawberry "juice" thing which both Mo and Chris was discouraging Sam and I to drink, as it's made from powder or something and they had a argument about whether or not the orange juice served on Sunday on board was real or not hahahahahah it was hilarious man, especially Mo who keeps bringing up "with real pulp" and Sam saying "artificial pulp" hahahahahahahah so funny.

Then after dinner they brought us around the ship, like AROUND man! We obviously first passed the kitchen and then had a little pit-stop as they found ice-cream, and they were like complaining how come the other tables had ice-cream, but we had to go all the way to the back just to get ice-cream hahahahhaha. We then went to see the fire fighter's room, the engine room, Main Street (a corridor that travels from the front to the back of the ship), the laundry room, Chris' work station, Mo's work station ( where we found out that the tension in the ropes that he worked with are soooooooo STRONG that if they were to snap, it could cut a person in HALF!), both Mo's and Chris's cabin, the store room where they keep all the books, a Ship Shop where they sell snacks and toiletries (sooo cool, they sell LAY'S chips hahah) and some other places!
We then joined them with their weekly programmes and it was indeed an honour to be able to be part of something that's so big. And then it was time for us to leave :'( although it was only like 3 to 4 hours with Mo and Chris, Sam and I really got to know both of them and got attached, cause they were so COOL and we all just totally connected. So the leaving part was the hardest......but we got to like exchange e-mails and everything and we also took some crazy pictures hahahahah. Indeed it was a once in a lifetime experience.

It's amazing what the Doulos is doing all around the world, having a motto of "Bringing Knowledge, Help and Hope" that there are people, ordinary people, young and old, just like you and I, that are willing to give 2 years of their life to go out into sea, volunteering themselves to do something totally selfless! And it indeed was a GREAT pleasure to get to know Mo and Chris, and to know that they are doing GREAT things for people who are in need! I will totally miss them!

['Servant]

[the horrifying STAIRS]

[DINNER! with Sam, Chris and Mo!]

[only got to take pictures in th engine room :'( ]

[being crazy]

loh-lih-loh-soh [it's chinese heheheh won't tell you what it means ;) ]

Well since i'm like up till i don't 3am to 4am every morning, my entire system that's keeping track of time and eveything is soooooooooooooo OFF!!! So confusing man, it's like well confusing, like one minute ago it's like the 1/11/07 then a minute later it's 2/11/07! Time really travels fast when you're having a good time :) so for today on the 3/11/07 i'm going to blog THREE different post! The first would OBVIOUSLY be this post (for those of you who don't get this i really suggest that you go to a shrink or something, it's not some phyco-babble or something) hahahahahah, the second would be what i did on the 1/11/07 and the third would be what i did on the 2/11/07 heheheheheheh so as not to have one SUPER long post :) hahahah




MISS YOU ALREADY BAM-BAM!!!!!!!

Battle Cry

After every exam paper, i've been getting lazier and lazier. aku mesti stop that!

NO MORE TV (or at least not more than an hour)!
NO MORE RANDOM NAPPING!
NO MORE CHOCOLATES! (what am i saying!)
NO MORE WASTING TIME PLAYING WITH ANGEL'S HAMSTER!




YOU'RE SO CUTE HAMSTY!